The Shower

We had our shower on April 18th. It was beautiful. So many people worked really hard to make it unique and special. Big thank you's go out to my Mom and Tara who organized and planned it all. Mom ordered so many decorations and little details to make it very memorable. It was co-ed and had an Asian theme which I think made it really stand out as a different kind of baby shower, fun for everyone. Another thank you goes out to my cousin Kari who made some very wonderful centerpieces and other decorations for the room, she truly has a unique talent for making things beautiful. More big thank you's go out to my sister-in-law Beth and mother-in-law Meg. They were in charge of the food and honestly, I don't know how they did it. Beth completely knocked herself out making all sorts of wonderful Asian inspired dishes that turned out deliciously! I did not expect the lengths I know she went to to put it all together and it really meant a lot. And finally, a multitude of thank you's go out to all of the family and friends that came to share in our joy. You made the day wonderful. I can't thank everyone enough...from the bottom of our hearts, you are all the best!

At the actual shower, the love and excitement in the room was palpable. Everyone was so sweet and appeared genuinely thrilled to be a part of this journey with us. It meant a lot to see everyone together. I especially appreciated seeing the emotion on other people's faces...it truly felt like they were sharing the experience with us. We had some various shower games, tweaked a bit for the adoption of course -> ('dirty diaper musical chairs' and 'pin the orphanage on China', to name a couple :). Shawn and I had also requested that people leave note cards with their own unique family traditions on them to help give us ideas for starting our own. We also set up a video camera with a poster on it with Mali's pictures, asking people to record a message to Maliana for when she comes home. It was so touching to see what people had to say to her. I know she will treasure this video as she gets older.

It has been a while since the shower, and I'm sorry it has taken so long to post this. I wanted to first say all of my thank you's as noted above, but I would be remiss if I didn't address my own personal feelings too and I'm hoping this comes across the right way. It's funny...while at the same time as I truly and deeply appreciate the baby shower...I also feel this nagging impatience and irritation. Impatience because I feel like we have been waiting so long and preparing so much for Maliana to come home...that I just want to get it over with already!! I mean, I enjoyed the shower immensely...it's just I would have rather been in China instead. I hope that doesn't sound too ungrateful...I'm just so done with planning and waiting and hoping. In a weird way, the shower also made me feel sad because Mali is still not here with us yet. Everything has been harder since getting her referral and photos because I am not personally sharing experiences (big and small) with her. A little piece of me will always feel incomplete until she comes home, I think. So while the shower was above and beyond any of my wildest expectations...it still felt hollow in some ways because Mali was missing. Here is the difference that I have come up with...when someone is pregnant, their baby is there with them, it's tangible in their belly and they can listen to its heartbeat or feel it kick, even talk or sing to it if they want. With Maliana...she is literally half a world away, without any way to tangibly communicate or feel close to her, and so much of the journey is still ahead. I wish I didn't feel so sappy or perhaps sound so whiny...but blogs are about honesty, right? I hope you all can understand what I am trying to say.

Anyway, I'd like to end this post on a good note so please check out some of the photo highlights from the shower...I hope you enjoy :)




Just a note about the fortune cookies...they actually had baby shower sayings in them like "Your walls will soon be decorated with green beans and applesauce" or "A diaper is a gift you can open several times a day" - very cute!




This was one of the shower favors for the kids...a little Asian doll with a candy pop tucked into it - yes, the parents loved us for providing even more sugar to their kids :)
We also had little "red thread" bracelets with mini jade animals for the girls but I didn't get pictures of these. They were really cute and represented the Chinese proverb of "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break."


Petits fours that had the Chinese symbol for "love" on each one. Tara made sure that Resch's bakery knew exactly how to do this - nice touch and very yummy!




Shawn thanking everyone for sharing so much love for us and Mali and the adoption. Yes, tears were shed (don't worry, they were happy tears!)




Ha! This was funny...Shawn opened this gift first and thought they were windshield wipers! He was so grateful for them...didn't even occur to him it made no sense why someone would get these for us at a baby shower! (they are actually window shades for the car :)




Shawn toying with the idea of using Mali's new hippo hooded bath towel as his own personal super hero cape...ummm, I think not :)


And finally, some "audience participation" for the bigger gifts - thanks ladies!


Luis being a good sport and playing "Pin the tail(?) on Guangdong"


The video camera and poster with Mali's pictures on it, asking guests to record a message to Mali for her homecoming...we got about 6 min of messages from some of the braver souls at the shower. We will cherish these always.


Here is the sign with requests for guests to write their special family traditions on notecards...a few people took the time to do this. It was neat to see what they wrote. (we would definitely love to hear more if you want to share them with us! :)


Thank you Grandpa Tim - you are always the consummate "moment capturer"...much much appreciated!


Trio of Grandmas!


No party is complete without a "Maliana Rocks" t-shirt on Grandpa!


Great Grandma Hart! She is so excited to meet you Mali!


Ahhh...all done. We can't thank everyone enough!

Next stop ~ CHINA!!!

Pregnant on Paper ~ Officially Approved by the Chinese Government

Ta Dah!!!

Paperwork came Wednesday, was Fed Ex'ed to us yesterday from our agency, and then we signed it and Fed Ex'ed it right back yesterday afternoon! I should have taken a picture AFTER we had signed and dated it but I was just so anxious to get it back in the mail :)

Anyway, bottom line is ~ We're officially official!!

She's Ours!!!

I will never look at April 15th (Tax Day) the same way again...I was sitting at work this morning when Shawn called. He had just spoken with Kim from EAC who had given us some wonderful news - we got our official Letter of Approval/Acceptance! Which means, Maliana Suirong is officially going to become a Wilkinson!! As I type this, I am shaking and have tears in my eyes...it is all REALLY starting to feel real. It could not have come at a more perfect time either as this Saturday is our baby shower...all of my worrying was for naught because now I can relax and enjoy this gathering of family and friends, confident that MALI WILL BE COMING HOME!!! It truly will feel more like a celebration now!

I'm so excited I can hardly sit still so I will post more later...right now I think I am going to go do some dancing in the streets!!

The crib - finally!

Well, no big updates from China...still in limbo. However, wanted to show everyone that we (actually Shawn) got the crib put together finally. When I got home from work today, Shawn had Mali's bedroom door locked and said I couldn't come in until he was finished. He yelled downstairs a few minutes later and told me to come up and look...here's what he was so busy putting together ->
















Whew...I'm glad it's finally done and I can start visualizing her sleeping in there. Seems a tad more real now. Pretty exciting :)

*gasp* - they called us her "parents" :)

Hello everyone! I'm just trying to find the time to update as things have been pretty crazy around here. So, sorry it's been a while. But here is the latest news :)

After getting home from a weekend away, we got a call from our agency on Monday. "Uncle Zhou" had called the orphanage to check on Mali and was able to get an update. So far, she is doing well and received her care package with no problem. The orphanage also told him that she still has not had her lip repaired yet. They said that they can arrange for her lip surgery, however they wanted to let him know that out of the two plastic surgeons in their province that perform these surgeries for them, the one that would most likely be doing her surgery is the lesser of the two surgeons. Soo...they wanted Zhou to call "Mali's parents" (us!!!) and ask if we wanted to proceed with the repair in China or if we wanted her to wait and have her surgery/ies done after she gets home to the states. First, I was so excited that they called us Mali's parents (isn't that cool?)!! And second, I was very happy that they are allowing us this option of making our first decision for our daughter!! I never expected that from them and feel so fortunate that they thought of our feelings on the matter.

Anyway, once posed with this question, Shawn and I discussed the various angles. We figured that since Mali is eating well, gaining weight, and developing appropriately, there was not much need to hurry up with the surgery (especially if it was with a second rate surgeon), but we wanted to check with the experts first. We sent an email and made some phone calls to Children's Hospital to get their opinion.

In the meantime, we also are having Zhou call the CCAA to try to get the specific status of our dossier so that we know how much longer it will be until our approvals arrive. If possible, we are going to play the "expedite card" and use the letter that the director of Children's Hospital sent along with our referral acceptance to see if they can speed up the process to bring her home sooner. That way we can get everything fixed in one swoop here at Children's. Not sure if they will budge, (it is the very regimented Chinese government), however it never hurts to ask. The worst they can do is say no...so everyone, keep your fingers crossed they say yes! :)

As of right now, we are still waiting on word from Zhou from the CCAA, however Dr's Powell and Wiet at Children's said that Mali's condition does not appear urgent and there would be absolutely no harm in waiting a few more months. They also actually said they would prefer to do all procedures at Children's, to avoid having to potentially correct any surgeries performed in China.

So, today we let EAC (our agency) know that we will postpone her surgery until after we bring her home. Now we just have to wait for the word from Zhou. I am not banking on the CCAA expediting anything, but it sure would be nice, wouldn't it? Worst case, at least we'll know more about how much longer we'll have to wait for final approval. It's a win-win and I'm just so happy to feel movement again!

Shawn and I are actually really excited to meet her when she still has her cleft lip and palate...we've fallen in love with that little face just as it is so it will be amazing and breathtaking to see her in person, with every inch of her just as she was born :)

It's coming...someday soon...for the first time in a long time (maybe ever), I can feel it!

1st Birthday gathering went great!

My mom, dad, Lisa, Meg and Tim (almost all of the grandparents, Rick was unfortunately feeling a bit under the weather), and also uncles Forge and Blaize, were all able to come over last night and have dinner and dessert, then a little bonfire in celebration of Mali's birthday.

We had several different kinds of Chinese food for the main course (egg rolls, sweet and sour chicken, sesame orange chicken, General Tso's chicken, and chicken fried rice...as well as these things called "chicken cakes" that I picked up from the Asian Market this week - which was kind of ironic because these "chicken cakes" had not one bit of chicken in them, but were very good nonetheless). Then for dessert, we tried several different kinds of treats that I also picked up from the Asian Market (mung bean cakes, mochi balls, snow pies, sweet honey cakes, cashew nut and walnut crunch cookies). I have been shopping at a few different stores over the last two weeks and have tried a lot of different stuff. I finally narrowed the list to several food items that I thought everyone might like but I still stuck in a few items that were very unique to Asian culture (and definitely not typical American fare). Overall, I think everyone got a kick out of experimenting with them too. It has been really fun to try new things and understand more about her heritage. I have felt like a "fish out of water" since I don't understand much yet, but it has been a really great experience and I look forward to many more. We put sparklers in these little moon cakes (which are traditionally eaten on occasions such as Chinese New Year), and that was our "birthday cake" this year for Mali.

Also, for a little atmosphere, I had put these things called joss sticks in sand in a big pot on the front porch. They are pretty much like big incense sticks and from what I understand so far, they are typically burned in front of Buddhist temples as a purifying ritual before entering. I thought this would be neat for everyone to experience as they entered. I hope I wasn't offensive by doing this...I'm just trying to learn and try out various things so that I (and Mali's whole American family) can begin to understand more. After dinner at the bonfire, we burned "money" (fake $5000 bills from the Asian Market), as this is also another cultural ritual that is done for ancestors who have passed away. It is used as a symbol to send money with their loved ones in their afterlife. I like this and think it's a beautiful way to remember those who have gone before us.

And of course, we all spent time remembering Mali's birth mother as we sat around the bonfire. Without her, none of this could be possible. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to place Mali in that box and say goodbye to her, hoping that she was doing the right thing for her daughter, because she loved her so much. For myself, I choose to believe that Mali's mom must be a very strong woman to have been able to make this ultimate sacrifice. I will forever be grateful to her for that. I'm sure not a single March 6th will go by when her mother won't look up at the stars and say a prayer that her daughter is healthy, happy, and loved. And I will send a prayer back to her, hoping that she knows that Shawn and I will do our best every day to make sure her prayers are answered.

Now, here are some of the various pictures from last night...I hope you enjoy them as much as we enjoyed making these memories :)

Whew ~ Thank God!

Yea!!! Thank God – our little monkey finally has her package – and just in time for her birthday on Friday!


Status: DELIVERED
Last Scan: 3/2/2009 5:05:00 PM DELIVERED CN
Delivered To: CN
Delivery Date: Monday, March 2, 2009
Delivery Time: 5:05:00 PM
Signed By: HE ZHU HAI
Carrier: UPS
Service: Worldwide Express Saver
UPS Tracking Number: 1Z0451W80432547073